A life update from the English Investor – Q1 2019

No, I’m not dead. Or at least, I found my way back. A bit like Jon Snow.

The first quarter of 2019 turned out to be an absolute nightmare. People say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It might be true but note that there is an intermediary step when you have to pick yourself up and actually get stronger. That’s the hard bit.

So what happened? Winter came. Allow me to update you…

The English Investor is now single

I constantly debate how much I should share on this blog. On the one hand, this blog is not about personal relationships. It’s not therapy either. On the other hand, when life events have a direct impact on your finances, then a lesson or two might be learned. As a bonus, it adds some authenticity.

Calling off my engagement is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. I found it especially hard because I genuinely think that I wasn’t at fault here. Trust me, I wished I had messed up somewhere and deserved the blame. It would have made things more bearable.

I won’t go into the specifics but let’s say that the whole “Convert to a new religion before the wedding or I will pack and leave” ultimatum did not go well. It’s no secret that I’m Christian and that I have a set of core values. My fiancee knew that but for some other reasons – which turned out to be inaccurate – she thought she could force me to change my mind. Or force my hand.

The ask surprised me but I was even more shocked by the reaction that followed when I first asked to think about it, and then when I refused.

I think you get the picture for now… However, I had not realized where the financial implications and I’m still processing those.

1 – No big sum of cash to splash on a wedding

The first saving is obvious and it’s one that I would have preferred to avoid. The immediate consequence is that you don’t have to spend a fortune on your wedding day.

However, things are drastically different on how far advanced you are in the planning.

If you have only started to look for venues but haven’t booked anything, then you are good. The same applies to , dresses, flights, flower arrangements etc. One would say I was lucky as we had not committed to anything.

It’s another story when you have incurred significant expenses because you are further along in the planning. You will have to review the terms of the contracts you signed to see if you can get reimbursed or recoup some of the expenses. In most cases, this is unlikely to be a possibility. From there, I believe the fair thing would be to share the loss 50/50 but others might disagree.

2 – What to do with the engagement ring?

This is one of the most sensitive issues because it is a very emotionally-charged one. You spent time and money on ensuring the ring would be perfect.

The first issue is to actually get back the ring. You would think that your partner would acknowledge that things did not work out and therefore it is only fair to give the ring back (especially if it represents a hefty sum). That’s what happened to me and I was “lucky” in this respect. However, when a relationship falls apart, people do not always stay calm and carry on. Things may even turn a bit nasty.

Unfortunately, English law is not on your side. The Law Reform (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act of 1970 clearly states:

“the gift of an engagement ring shall be presumed to be an absolute gift; this presumption may be rebutted by proving that the ring was given on the condition, express or implied, that it should be returned if the marriage did not take place for any reason.“

Good luck proving that. You might have better chances if you can show that the ring stayed in the family for generations. Given where the burden of the proof lies, it will be an uphill battle to meet the standard. You might be safe if a prenuptial agreement was signed in the meantime and the said agreement explicitly provided that the ring would return to its original owner.

Let’s assume that you managed to keep the engagement ring.

Here comes the real question: what do you do with it?

This is actually a fairly important question when you spent $50,000 on the rock.

If the engagement breaks down rapidly, then you might be able to return the ring. For instance, you have a month to return the ring at James Allen for either an exchange or a full refund.

If you don’t qualify, then you can either sell it or keep it. If you sell it, get ready to probably lose at least a solid 20% to 30% of its retail value. I haven’t tried to sell it so this is only an estimate.

Alternatively, if you can afford it, just do nothing for a while to think about it. You may never use it again and therefore selling it might be the only option. However, it is not absurd to see the engagement ring as (i) an asset that could potentially appreciate in the future and (ii) a means to transfer money from one place to another in a fairly discrete manner (subject to declaration requirements imposed by customs).

As far as I’m concerned, I intend to keep the engagement ring in the short-term and then reevaluate my options in a couple of months. I do not need the money for now.

3 – Figuring out the living arrangements

If you are engaged, you are probably living with the other person under the same roof. One of you therefore has to move out. In my case, it was straightforward. Once I had responded to her ultimatum with a negative, she had moved out of the apartment within 24 hours…

You should also be mindful of how to deal with utility bills. I personally got completely screwed. Three months after her departure, I am still discovering massive electricity bills which were supposed to be paid by her. The same applies to water charges or council tax.

There are only two approaches: swallow your pride and pay for everything or give your ex-partner a call to settle things amicably. Going to court for £700 is not an option.

Work almost crushed The English Investor

Ending an engagement is already traumatic. It doesn’t help when you get completely crushed at work and you need to pull yourself together to keep your head above water.

It is already bad enough to lose your fiancee. You don’t need to lose your job also. I realized this very quickly and decided to remain uber-focused at work. It was not easy – it still isn’t – but the effort is paying off. I’m probably in much better standing than I was a couple of weeks ago (not that I was getting fired or anything! people just seem a bit more appreciative).

Important deadlines coming up for your finances

As you may be aware, the end of March means that the new tax year is almost here. The new tax year starts on 6 April 2019. This means you only have a few days left to:

• Use the full ISA allowance: you can set aside £20,000 each tax year in a cash account or in a stocks and shares account. Interest paid or dividends/capital gains are tax-free. Your allowance does not carry forward so if it’s unused, you lose it for good.
• Maximize pension contributions: the next few days may be the last ones for people subject to the tapered annual allowance to tap any unused carry-forward allowances. I have almost maxed out mine. Starting on 6 April 2019, I will only be able to contribute £10,000 to my pension pot.

The beginning of the year turned out to be incredibly challenging. I hope things will be a bit smoother going forward. Not everything ended up in a disaster. Rockstar Finance featured my blog post on the dangers of lifestyle inflation! Hopefully, more will follow!